The countdown is on

After months of dreaming, planning, and purging we're down to packing.  We signed a lease on our house last week while the kids were away at outdoor ed.  After a few days to let everything sink in Geary and I decided it was time to tell the kids that the trip was on and we were leaving next month.  It's been an interesting mix of reactions from the kids, with four that's not surprising.  Tenley, who I expected to have the hardest time is actually the most excited.  Recently it's felt like she is really trying to establish herself outside of our family.  Friends are very important, siblings are annoying, and she's too old to play.  It's just felt like a shift in her connection to our family unit and a value in outside relationships.  Completely developmentally appropriate, a bit sad, and I was afraid, a recipe for disaster with taking her away from her friends.  Apparently the timing wasn't as bad as I was imaging.  I'm anticipating a fair bit of sadness, there have already been tears and jokes about packing up her friends and teacher, but all in all she is excited.  In true Felicia form she was quietly gathering as much information about this adventure as possible.  The day after we told the kids we were going she went to school and informed her closest friend that she was leaving in a month, traveling in her camper for 9 months, and going to Florida and then to see wild horses.  I'd say she is tentatively excited as well.  I love how she matter of factly has said things like, "It probably won't be all fun but over all I think it will be a neat trip."  We've been talking about the need to be flexible and she is particularly good at that, she finds the silver lining in ever bad situation.  I hoping her good attitude can wear off on all of us a bit on this trip.  Then there is Calista.  She's told us she doesn't want to go and she is none to happy about it.  There is nowhere she wants to go and nothing she wants to see.  I'm still holding out hope that we can win her over but for now letting her have those big upset feelings.  It's a lot of change and I can appreciate that she isn't feeling the love for this crazy plan.  Corwin's thoughts on the trips very wildly depending on when you talk to him and who he is around.  With Tenley's excitement he is gun-hoe and ready to go, with Calista's negative attitude close he'll tell you he doesn't want to go either.  I'm not sure about Geary but I'm definitely feeling a mix of emotions about everything right now.  Overwhelmed is probably at the top of the list!  We have three weeks until our launch date and A LOT of purging, packing, and projects to finish.  It does feel good to have most of the major hurdles taken care of though.  We still have all the vehicles to deal with but I figure worst case we donate them and hit the road.  The end or really the beginning is in sight, just have to keep taking those baby steps to get there.

Disappointment

A few months ago I read about sacrifices in the context of full timing.  The newsletter I was reading pointed out the inevitable truth that we must give up things, we must make sacrifices, in order to obtain the new things we are reaching for.  And there in lies one of the challenges with this path.  Giving up the stability or predictability of life in a house was a piece of this adventure for us so easy to accept, at least in theory.  Giving up our worldly possessions... probably doesn't come as a shock that this hasn't been particularly difficult for us, we never been big stuff people.  At the end of the newsletter there was the question "If you are preparing to ditch, what sacrifice is scaring you the most?"  Scare didn't resonate with me but the question of, what is hardest to give up, was an easy answer.  For me, it is my children's seats at their charter school.  Our family was lucky enough to have won the schooling lottery and be afforded the opportunity to attend a charter school that largely aligns with my own educational beliefs.  As a passionate and opinionated educator finding such a school was no small task and actually getting into that school was nothing short of amazing.  Taking this trip means giving up those spots.  How disappointing.  I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want to be able to travel with my kids and be able to return to our school.  It has become our community and I'm thankful for that reality.  It also makes it that much more of a sacrifice.  For the last 6 months I've shown up in a space within that community designed for discussion and asked for us to consider an option for returning students to have priority over new students within the school lottery.  Obviously I have personal interest in such a policy but in the bigger picture I think it aligns with the schools culture and values.  It is a school that prides itself on relationships.  A school that values experiential, hands on learning.  For months we've talked and discussed- does this make sense for this community?  It has been a difficult process for me because at a personal level it feels like asking for a need to be met and as such the emotional response when it isn't met can be quite large.  I've had to continue to step back and recognize the big picture.  Signing up for and really engaging with a community means disagreements, different vantage points, and different opinions.  What makes sense to me as a member of this community doesn't make sense to others.  The reality of life is that there are some things we have control over and many things we do not.  I might get to have my cake and eat it too.  Or maybe not. 

Sometimes you get screwed in life

After months of searching, a fruitless trip to Washington, and more searching we found a van in Illinois that we thought fit the unicorn bill.  It took quite a bit of convincing the seller that we were serious buyers.  Then quite a bit of time to actually get the information we were asking for.  After a few weeks of getting everything squared away Geary headed to Il.  We had the van checked out by a local mechanic before Geary flew out and the engine checked out in good shape.  Geary was concerned about rust on the vehicle, especially being from IL but the mechanic said it was actually in pretty good shape given the age.  Fast forward a month and we've learned that we bought a lame unicorn.  In the last two weeks our excitement has turned to disappointment, heartbreak, and hopelessness.  We found out a couple of weeks ago that the van has major damage to the frame and is unsafe to drive, un-repairable, and we are basically just out the money it cost to purchase the van.  I've tried calling the sketchy roadside dealership that we were concerned about purchasing a vehicle from and they are living up to our worst nightmares. They have been unavailable to talk and likely devoid of any sense of responsibility in selling a completely worthless car to us.  Basically, we got screwed.  It's a hard one to swallow and has brought back up all my anger about our house and the well.  I know it's not healthy to hold on to and really serves no purpose but it's still there.  Forgiveness is hard to find when it feels this raw and intentional.  It shakes my belief in the goodness of people and makes me want to isolate myself from others.  Beyond that it has shaken our plans.  This trip already seemed like a huge mountain to climb to make it happen and now this?!  We're bouncing between a renewed energy in making this work because we know how much we want it and feeling hopeless about the financial side of things.  It was already going to be a stretch, Geary didn't think we could make the money side of things work but I was holding out hope that we could scrape together enough.  We really want to go debt free but that desire doesn't seem likely given that we are out thousands of dollars.  Thanks Steve... or Sam, yup there were red flags like the sales guy having two names.  Maybe we're stupid or maybe people suck or maybe both.

unicon stalking

For months we've been researching and debating a tow vehicle.  At times the options seemed endless.  Trucks are better for towing but a family of 6 doesn't fit in a truck very well.  Do SVUs really have enough towing capacity for the size trailer we want and all the stuff we'll end up bringing along?  What about vans?   With some sense of which travel trailer we wanted we felt like we had a good idea of our towing needs.  Which ultimately lead to what we began referring to as unicorn hunting. We decided we wanted a Ford e350 diesel 7.3l liter standard length passenger van.  Unfortunately coming by one is not easy and coming by one that has low enough miles and is in good shape is even harder.  Lots of online searching.

We won the lottery!!

As we began creating our list of places to go and things to see in the eastern half of the country the Florida Keys popped on to our (my) radar.  How cool would it be to drive across the Overseas Highway, talk about the drive of a life time!  After extensive reading it became clear that staying in a state park in The Keys would be ideal.  Unfortunately most people think that!  Which means sites at those camp grounds fill quickly or as we soon found out, immediately.  The booking window for a site opens 11 months before hand at 8 a.m. Eastern time.  We decided we would shoot to be in The Keys for December 2017.  When December 2016 rolled around I began looking at sites even though they would be for November the following year.  I was shocked and a bit dismayed as I watched the sites fill every day.  Were people really booking every site this far in advance; yes, yes they were!  We decided that we should just start trying to book something and we would work our travel plans around it if we were able to get a site.  Christmas came and went with me trying to get a site every morning by getting up at 5:45 a.m. getting ready to try to click book at exactly the right second each morning.  A week and a half into this routine I was growing tired of being disappointed every morning but also came to accept that I was in this game for the long haul.  Certainly if I kept at it long enough we would land a spot.  One particularly disappointed morning I asked on a facebook group for fulltime R.V.ers if there was some secret to actually getting a site.  Not really was the unfortunate answer.  Use the fastest internet connection you can and keep trying.  Well on Jan. 3rd we won the FL State Park lottery and scored a site at Bahia Honda State Park.  As I watched the site switch from not available yet to reserved (had my heart drop a little again) Geary called me to the other room, "Come here, I don't want to mess it up."  Wait, what?!  Talk about cloud 9!  And so began the concrete we're really doing this part of our journey.  We'll be in Bahia Honda State Park December 3rd though December 17th, 2017 (2 week booking limit).  Having one concrete piece in place we began working around those dates trying to figure out where we are staying on our way down to The Keys and on the way back up from The Keys.  Dry Tortugas National Park is still on the conversation table.  An expensive excursion no doubt but... if we're down there shouldn't we go all in?!  Time (and budgets) will tell.  Excited and scared as we inch closer to making this dream a reality.