Disappointment

A few months ago I read about sacrifices in the context of full timing.  The newsletter I was reading pointed out the inevitable truth that we must give up things, we must make sacrifices, in order to obtain the new things we are reaching for.  And there in lies one of the challenges with this path.  Giving up the stability or predictability of life in a house was a piece of this adventure for us so easy to accept, at least in theory.  Giving up our worldly possessions... probably doesn't come as a shock that this hasn't been particularly difficult for us, we never been big stuff people.  At the end of the newsletter there was the question "If you are preparing to ditch, what sacrifice is scaring you the most?"  Scare didn't resonate with me but the question of, what is hardest to give up, was an easy answer.  For me, it is my children's seats at their charter school.  Our family was lucky enough to have won the schooling lottery and be afforded the opportunity to attend a charter school that largely aligns with my own educational beliefs.  As a passionate and opinionated educator finding such a school was no small task and actually getting into that school was nothing short of amazing.  Taking this trip means giving up those spots.  How disappointing.  I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want to be able to travel with my kids and be able to return to our school.  It has become our community and I'm thankful for that reality.  It also makes it that much more of a sacrifice.  For the last 6 months I've shown up in a space within that community designed for discussion and asked for us to consider an option for returning students to have priority over new students within the school lottery.  Obviously I have personal interest in such a policy but in the bigger picture I think it aligns with the schools culture and values.  It is a school that prides itself on relationships.  A school that values experiential, hands on learning.  For months we've talked and discussed- does this make sense for this community?  It has been a difficult process for me because at a personal level it feels like asking for a need to be met and as such the emotional response when it isn't met can be quite large.  I've had to continue to step back and recognize the big picture.  Signing up for and really engaging with a community means disagreements, different vantage points, and different opinions.  What makes sense to me as a member of this community doesn't make sense to others.  The reality of life is that there are some things we have control over and many things we do not.  I might get to have my cake and eat it too.  Or maybe not.